When Professionals Disagree About Your Baby

A few weeks ago, I saw a baby who had just turned 6 months old.

He strongly disliked tummy time and had spent much of his first few months on his back. As a result, he had developed a significant flat spot on one side of his head.

At his previous visit, I encouraged his mom to ask their pediatrician about a referral for a reshaping helmet to decrease the flat spot.

That recommendation surprised her a little.

Most of the time, I do not recommend helmets. In most cases, a baby’s head shape improves with positioning changes, increased tummy time, and natural development over time.

But this case was different.

His flat spot was more significant than what I typically see, and tummy time was still very difficult for him. I was concerned that waiting too long would reduce the window where a helmet would be most effective.

At the next visit, I asked Mom what the pediatrician had said.

She told me the pediatrician wanted to wait and continue with physical therapy for now. If things were not improving enough by around 9 months, they would reconsider a helmet at that point.

Mom was understandably unsure.

Two professionals were looking at the same baby and arriving at different recommendations.

Here’s What’s Going On

Situations like this are more common than most parents realize.

Healthcare professionals often have access to the same information, research, and treatment options. But we do not always prioritize that information the same way.

Different professionals:

• see different patient populations
• have different clinical and treatment experiences
• weigh risks differently
• communicate uncertainty differently
• have different thresholds for when intervention feels necessary

In this case, both the pediatrician and I understood the same basic facts:

• helmets can be helpful in certain situations
• they are a significant commitment for families
• they are typically worn about 23 hours per day
• they are most effective earlier in infancy
• there is still some effectiveness later on, though generally less than earlier treatment

The “what” was the same.

The difference was in how we each interpreted the situation and prioritized the risks of waiting versus acting sooner.

Because I work with babies with torticollis and plagiocephaly every day, I may have been weighing those risks differently based on my experience with similar cases.

That does not automatically make one professional right and the other wrong.

But it does make things harder for parents trying to make decisions for their baby.

What To Do When Professionals Disagree

One thing that makes these situations difficult is that healthcare conversations can sometimes sound more certain than they really are.

But many medical and developmental decisions are not purely black and white. Often there are multiple reasonable paths forward, each with different tradeoffs.

When you encounter conflicting advice, here are a few things that can help:

1. Ask More Questions

Sometimes the disagreement is smaller than it first appears.

Try asking:

• “What’s the downside of waiting?”
• “What’s the downside of acting sooner?”
• “What makes you lean toward this option?”
• “If this were your baby, what would you be thinking about most?

These questions often reveal that two professionals may agree on the big picture while differing only on timing or priorities.

I also know that asking questions can feel uncomfortable for some parents. Many parents worry they will seem difficult, questioning, or disrespectful.

And to be fair, some professionals are more comfortable with questions than others.

But a good professional should want you to understand the reasoning behind a recommendation, especially when the decision affects your child and your family’s daily life.

2. Understand the Assumptions Behind the Advice

Recommendations are shaped by experience.

One professional may be more focused on avoiding unnecessary intervention.

Another may be more focused on avoiding missed developmental windows.

Neither perspective is inherently unreasonable. Understanding the “why” behind the recommendation is often more helpful than simply comparing the recommendations themselves.

3. Think in Probabilities, Not Certainties

One of the most helpful ideas I have learned comes from professional poker play, Annie Duke. In her book Thinking in Bets, she talks about asking people about the probability of possible outcomes.

This kind of conversation often leads to more honest and useful discussions because it moves away from “Who is right?” and all-or-nothing thinking.

It allows you to consider the other person’s reasoning in a way that is often hard to assess otherwise.

Parenting Often Requires Decision-Making Under Uncertainty

One of the hardest parts of parenting is realizing that there is not always a perfectly clear answer.

Even experienced professionals sometimes see situations differently.

That does not necessarily mean someone is wrong.
And it does not mean you are failing as a parent.

It simply means there are multiple reasonable paths forward, each with different risks, benefits, and priorities.

If you stay curious, ask thoughtful questions, and seek to understand the reasoning behind the recommendations, you can make decisions with more confidence and less fear.

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FAQ

Does a flat spot always require a helmet?

No. Many babies improve significantly with positioning changes, tummy time, and natural development. Helmets are usually considered when head shape asymmetry is more significant or when improvement is limited despite conservative treatment.